it goes on without you.

LTR is this weekend for GT.
and I am not going. and that fact is killing me.
I am so worried about not having any influence on the LC this summer while I am gone (12 days!), and not that I don't trust everyone who will be working - I just am wondering if I will recognize it when I come home. I have put so much into this LC, I don't want to leave it alone - but I know going on an exchange will help the LC as much as it will help me. And the people staying in the states will be amazing, I know.
I don't know what to do about this unsettling feeling I have.